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Blog closed – realisation dawned

this blog is closed now as the author has realised that he was trying to be another stupid asshole with a blog writing reviews of movies and attacking people/actions/ideas he doesnt like.

the author is glad to have not fallen in the downward spiral

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January 15, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dhoom 2: Cheap movie

saw dhoom 2 last night.

Why You Should Watch This Movie:

1. For the body show

i). Aishwarya: You can see aishwarya rai’s body to the maximum. her cleavage, her butt shape, her figure, her skin, her back, everything except the critical parts which cannot be shown on the indian screen. she showed it all.
there is a scene where she and hrithik play baketball in the the rain. that whole scene was conceived only to show aishwarya’s body, you can see her bouncing balls and shaking cleavage while she dribbles the basketball.
every costume she wears is the movie is a feast for your eyes. you can easily imagine her naked as most of her is already shown.
theres a scene where she strips her full jacket or something. then we see her in Lux Underwear aur baniyaan. ash in male boxer briefs. that was supposed to be very sexy but i burst out laughing.
she and hrithink kiss each other on the lips. yes they do. how could aishwarya do that? i dont know. may be she thought kissing somebody on screen for the spirit of the movie is absolutely fine and professional. but i guess she dint realise that the spirit of the movie is nothing but selling skin and thrill(failed to thrill). very cheap spirit. and therefore her kissing act is also cheap. it serves no other purpose that to excite men watching the movie.
my hatsoff to Yash Chopra, the Great Indian Pimp. he is capable of showing every actress in a way that an early masturbator wants to see. and he does that. he degrades every woman who stars in his production. he is the man! every front bencher is thankful to him for showing their favourite actresses body in such an elaborate and/or erotic way. he knows the indian male fantasies and he captures them.

ii) Bipasha: i think John Abraham dumped her. and she wants to take some kind of revenge by working hard to get a great body and then flaunting it all/showcasing it all in the sequel to a film that john once starred in. and she does it. im sure she worked hard to get that body. and she shows it all. well she wears something on her breasts under her dress so that her breasts look bigger. it looks artificial. but still, the whole thing is hot. she wears a bikini and shows everything. there is almost nothing left to be seen of her. just add three things to your imagination and u have her almost-authentically naked.
a woman who wants to show off to her ex-boyfriend her newly developed great figure + a pimp producer = mega bonanza.

2. You are a fan of Hrithik: hrithik shows off his body, so u might not want to miss this. and he does all those stunts, not bad, they should be exciting enough for u.

Note – they even showed off a pregnant woman’s body. abhishek’s wife in the movie is a pregnant woman. she is seen in only two scenes and in all the two she is shown wearing a very short gown/slip(i dont know what its called) which reveal her legs almost completely from feet to upper most part of thighs. The chopras are hardcore pimps, they dont compromise on anything.


Why You Should Not Watch This Movie:

1. its a cheap movie
2. its a stupid movie. yes its dumb.
3. there are not much thrills as you would expect. even the songs and background music suck.
4. you are the kind of a person who cannot take non-sense
5. Uday Chopra
6. your kids might get scared when abhishek bachchan’s face is shown in close-up

November 30, 2006 Posted by | Bollywood | 4 Comments

Future of good hindi cinema

is with those good actors who are more interested in making good movies than good money or good fame.

i can only think of three:

1. Randeep Hooda

2. Shreyas Talpade

3. Shiney Ahuja

im sure we are going to see some real cool stuff from these three in the future.

November 28, 2006 Posted by | Bollywood | 4 Comments

Lage Raho Munnabhai – was boring

Ya. i found it boring. im sorry if i offended you.

Everybody likes this movie. everyone seems to have enjoyed this movie. but somehow i was bored.

it tried to give a message. but couldnt do it properly.
it tried to show a love story. couldnt do it properly.
it tried to do a lot of things. couldnt do anything properly.

It reminds me of those formula movies which has everything in them. a bit of comedy, a bit of love, a bit of sentiment, a bit of family, etc. Lage Raho was kind of like that, not exactly though.

The Message:

This movie tries to give a message. A message about Gandhi-ism. But it failed. It doesnt make sense. Its like a joke. It is entertainment.

You go back in time to those old movies. You will observe that the Police were always good in those movies. They always took the bad guys IN in the climax.
After a decade or so, the police were also the villains, but the Chief Minister was always the good guy. He punished all the wrong doers including the police at the end.
These were movies which dealt with real things but were not real. It was all entertainment.
Lage Raho Munnbhai is something like that.
It is as if its dealing some social problems and showing a way to go about them. But it does it very loosely, so loose that it doesnt make sense. Yes, it might be entertaining or funny but doesnt make sense.

The Love Story:

Okay now the love story between munna and the radio jockey who shouts ‘hellloooooo mumbaiiiiiii…’ on the radio every morning.
dude, i dont see a chemistry. it all sucked.
the heroine is kind of characterless. i dont know, i just cant see a character in her. i dont why she falls in love with munna, i dont why she does whatever she does. her face is like as if its made of glass, always wearing that mild smile.
damn, all these are qualities of a pukka commercial film.

They made Circuit cry a lot:

This seriously sucked. It was very cheap on the part of the director or whoever made him cry a lot in this movie. the first time he cries is when munna slaps him, it was fine. it was emotional.
Then later in some other scenes in which circuit was not a major part of, they inserted his shots of crying. Only to enhance the emotional effect of those scenes. they made him cry unnecessarily. Unbelievable people! They talk of quality and they do something as cheap as this in the film.

Boring and Lame:

God this movie was boring. I just cannot watch it another time. May be for 5 or 10 mins on tv, but never the whole movie. Cos it was boring.

It was lame. The Boman Irani(Lucky Singh in the movie) sequences were plain lame, stupid and boring. Munna and ms.heroine ask people on radio to send lucky singh ‘get well soon’ messages.
You ask why? because lucky singh is a bad guy who does things like land-grabbing and thus is considered as diseased.
Ok but what would happen if people send him ‘get well soon’ messages? Munna hopes that this way, one day, lucky singh’s conscience will make him realise his mistakes.
Why does munna think so? Because he is influenced by Gandhi-ism.
Ok this could be entertaining, but it is definitely bull’s shit. it is LAME. i mean, what the fuk?

And the equation between Lucky Singh and his daughter(played by Diya Mirza). THATS LAAAAMEE! The whole diya mirza plot is Lame. why lame? sorry i dont have the energy to elucidate that shit. all those things like diya running away from the house on the day of her marriage, then cursing her father on the radio, lucky singh feeling bad crying, diya going back….all these things have the silliest and lamest reasons possible.

Totally,
i would prefer a david dhawan movie to this one. this movie is not even a sincere tribute to the first part.

Positives:

1. Some sequences made people think. made people consider some aspects of gandhi-ism.
example: A regularly spits on B’s door while coming down the stairs. B starts cleaning that spit in front of A everyday. A sees that everyday and, one fine day, stops spitting.
There are two or three things like this. They are, at the least, thought provoking.

2. The director dared. The story has a radical angle, munna’s mental problem. It takes courage and belief for the director to deal with such an angle, having so many expectations on him.
He dealt with it, the movie is a big hit. the director succeeded.

But the movie definitely failed. Its a khichdi.

October 15, 2006 Posted by | Bollywood | Leave a comment

Hrithik Roshan – the real Superstar

Not shahrukh, not aamir. No not amitabh. Im sorry, its not abhishek.

The real superstar of hindi cinema, right now, is Hrithik Roshan.

(I’m no fan of him or any other ‘hero’ in the hindi film industry. )

There is a great possibility that the majority will disagree with me. But thats because you’re not able to see it. Cmon, see it. He is the One. He has the physique, he has the looks, he has the sensibility, he has the charm, he has the talent. He can look vulnerable, he can look lethal.

He is the only one who can do it all. And that makes him a Superstar. A real superstar.

I was really surprised by his performances. I never imagines he could act so well.

Just recollect him in Koi Mil Gaya. Now think about him in Mission Kashmir/Fiza. Now go to Kabhi khushi kabhi gham. Time for Lakshya. And ofcourse there is Kaho naa pyar hai where played both the roles very well. Now jump to Krrish.

He played it. And he played it very well.

I admire his performace in the first half of Lakshya. I really wondered. Bcos it needs a lot of sincerity to do what he did. He put in serious efforts in playing that role, and with the talent he has, he just clicked.

All this only proves that hes a very talented and sincere actor. One just has to tap his potential. I kind of feel that he’s trying to be like Aamir Khan in terms of work and sincerity towards a performance.

Now combine his acting talent with his looks, his physique, his dancing ability, his ability to do stunts. He is the package! Can anybody match this package?

And that makes him the Real Superstar of Hindi Cinema.

P.S: Ive been reading that Abhishek Bachchan is the next superstar. Its very funny. I’d like to state that abhishek bachchan is where he is now only because hrithik took a big break in terms of releases. Now that he is back, hes gonna take over everything. All the other so-called superstars will only have to watch.

Note: Hrithik Roshan’s next release is Dhoom 2. Slated for release in the last week of november, if im not wrong.

October 15, 2006 Posted by | Bollywood | 4 Comments

seriously, Hello world!

October 3, 2006 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment